Alistair in Wonderland - Meeting the Queen
by DJMirnum
Summary: Here's a one-shot using some of the EAH Wonderland characters in a scene from Disney's Alice in Wonderland


He was tired and irrevocably lost. He wandered through the dark woods for who knows how long and found no end of it in sight. He needed a break, both physically and mentally. He had seen so many things that defied normal convention and at first it was amazing. Seeing things that went beyond his wildest imagination but now, it had all become too much for him. He craved and longed for something that looked "normal" instead of seeing a waddling squeeze horn or frogs that had bodies of a drum and cymbal. He sat on a rock by a tree and breathed a huge sigh. "Well, it's very good advice to stay in one place when one is lost." He took a quick look around. He sighed again. "Who am I kidding!? Who would even think to look for me here?!" He was at his breaking point. "I miss my home. I miss my bed. Please, will someone come and find me!" He tried so hard to not let his emotions get the better of him but, the dam was breaking. He could feel tears coming and he chastised himself for it. "Stop it, Alistair! There's no reason for it! Get a grip! Someone will come! I just have to be patient!" He went quiet for a moment to listen for anything; it was silent. The only thing he heard was a tiny voice from the back of his mind. "No one's coming," it whispered. And that did it; he choked out a sob and hid his face in his hands. They just kept coming and he didn't have the strength to stop them. Overwhelming loneliness caused his tears to fall. He held the handkerchief his mother had with her when she was in Wonderland herself. He just stared at it; letting the memories of being at home with his mother play over in his mind. He gripped it and dabbed his eyes even though he knew they'd be wet again and blew his nose. His shoulders shook with every sob. He was glad he was alone this time; he didn't want anyone to see him like this. Then, he heard singing; it was familiar. He quickly turned to see a humanoid female cat appear in the tree he sat next to.

"Kitty Chersire?! Is that you?!"

"Whooooooom did you expect," she purred. "The white bunny, per chance?"

Kitty made two rabbit ears appear on her head.

"No, I'm done with bunnies. I want to go home," he said wiping his tears and blowing the last bit out of his nose. "But, I can't seem to find my way."

"Naturally, that's because you have no way. All ways here you see are the Queen's way."

"But, I haven't met any queen."

"You haven't," cried Kitty. "You haven't?! Oh, but you must! She'll be mad about you! Simply mad! Hahahahaha!"

Kitty began to sing again and start to disappear.

"Wait! Wait," cried Alisatair. "How can I find her?"

"Well," stated Kitty reappearing. "Some go this way," she said walking in place to the left. "Some go that way," she said walking in place to the right. "But as for me myself personally. I prefer the shortcut."

Kitty pulled down a branch and the trunk of the tree opened to reveal a sunny sky and a hedge maze garden. There was also a castle in the distance. Kitty had disappeared and Alistair went through the opening. He then heard whistling and singing. He followed the sound through the hedge maze to find out where it was coming from. He stopped when he heard someone singing about painting the roses red and a splash of red paint landed in front of him. He could barely see over the wall so he jumped to get a better view. Then he noticed there was opening nearby and quickly ran over. Just when he thought he saw everything this world had to offer, it surprised him again. He saw three life sized playing cards with human faces carrying brushes and buckets of red paint. It was an Ace, a two and a three of clubs. They were singing and carrying on, painting white rose bushes red. He ran up to the cards just after they sang a verse.

"Oh pardon me, but Mr. Three why must you paint them red," Alistair sang along.

The three of them stopped when they heard the new voice.

"Well, the fact is lad," began the Three. "We planted white roses by mistake. And."

"The Queen she likes them red," the cards began to sing again. "If she saw white instead."

"She'd raise a fuss," sang the Two.

"And each of us," sang the Ace.

"Would quickly lose his head," they all three sang.

"Goodness," said Alistair as he grabbed his neck and winced.

"Since this is the thought we dread! We're painting the roses red," the cards sang again and moved onto the next bush.

"Well then, let me help," said Alistair as he grabbed a brush and paint. "Painting the roses red," he sang.

"We're painting the roses red," the four of them sang. "Don't tell the queen what you have seen or say that's what we said we're painting the roses red."

"Yes, painting the roses red," sang Alistair.

"Not pink," said the Two.

"Not green," said the Ace.

"Not aquamarine," said Alistair.

"We're painting the roses red!"

The four of them finished the song just before the trumpets sounded. That could only mean one thing.

"The Queen," yelled the Three.

"The Queen," cried the Ace as a bucket of paint landed on his head.

"The Queen," gasped Alistair.

The three cards tried very hard to hide the evidence of their blunder and quickly laid face down on the ground. Alistair decided to do the same thing but he was too curious about the procession. He lifted his head up to see an army of life sized playing cards of each suit and number marching before him; he marveled at the sight. Soon someone yelled, "cards halt!" And they did. "Count off!" A line of cards of hearts stood before Alistair.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, Jack!"

Then, a female humanoid white bunny ran by blowing a trumpet.

"Bunny," cried Alistair.

Bunny ran down the line to stand at the end of the cards that just counted off. She was clearly out of breath.

"Her...*pant* Her Imperial Highness, Her... *pant* Her Grace, Her Excellency, Her Royal Majesty, Lizzie, the Queen of Hearts!"

The Queen of Hearts stepped forward to a thunderous applause. Holding her head high with an impressive crown, regal dress and a smug grin. Bunny then felt a tap on her shoulder to see it was the court jester, Courtly Jester. She pointed to herself, wanting an introduction.

"And the Jester," Bunny said with less enthusiasm.

Courtly posed but no one acknowledged her. She frowned and hmphped at the lack of response. Then, Lizzie's eyes narrowed at one of her rose bushes. One white rose's red paint was smeared. She stomped violently towards it and Alistair was dangerously close to her war path. He cowered as she stomped by. She eyed the rose and touched the wet paint.

"Hmmm. Who's been painting my roses red," she questioned quietly. "Who's been painting my roses red," she bellowed with a louder tone. She then sang the next part.

"Who dares to taint with vulgar paint the royal flower bed?! For painting my roses red someone will lose his head!"

She zeroed in on the cards laying face down in front of her. Immediately, they began to blame one another till the Queen heard enough.

"That's enough! Off with their heads!"

Everyone began to cheer for her command. Some cards then came to take the Three, Two and Ace away. They too began to sing.

"They're going to lose their heads for painting the roses red. It serves them right, they planted white and roses should be red. They're going to lose their heads!"

Lizzie had enough of their singing and did something about it.

"SILENCE!"

Not only did the cards stop singing, they were blown away. Alistair felt sorry for the poor cards and felt the punishment didn't fit the crime.

"Oh, please, please. They were just..."

"And who is this," questioned Lizzie.

Courtly Jester appeared next to her.

"Well, well, well. He's certainly not a heart even though he has the face of one. Perhaps he's a club. A very handsome one he is," cooed Courtly.

"Yes, I dare say he is," agreed Lizzie.

"Um, thanks," replied an embarrassed Alistair as he stood up.

"Look up. Speak nicely. And don't twiddle your fingers," ordered Lizzie and Alistair quickly obeyed. "Turn out your toes. Bow gracefully." Alistair did so. "Open your mouth a little wider and always say, 'Yes, Your Majesty!'"

"Yes! Your Majesty," Alistair repeated while bowing. He then stood upright.

Pleased with his performance, Lizzie smiled sweetly and walked closer to him.

"Now, where do you come from? And where are you going?"

"Well, I'm trying to find my way home," he answered.

"Your way," shrieked Lizzie. "All ways here are my ways!"

Alistair had to take a step back at her sudden outburst. He had to be careful to not anger the Queen at all, lest he wanted to lose his head.

"Yes, I know," he began nervously. "I was just thinking..."

"Bow while you're thinking, it saves time," said Lizzie sweetly.

"Yes, Your Majesty," he said while doing so. "I would like to ask..."

"I'll ask the questions," Lizzie stated. "Do you play croquet," she asked sweetly.

"Why, yes, Your Majesty."

"Then let the game begin," bellowed Lizzie as she grabbed Alistair's hand to drag him to croquet field. Alistair groaned internally; he wanted to get home but he needed to humor the Queen if he ever wanted a chance. He just hoped he'd be able to keep his head intact.

 **I was struck with inspiration and thought this would be fun to put the EAH Wonderland characters in a scene from Disney's Alice in Wonderland. Should I write more? Let me know by leaving a review. Thanks everyone!**


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